Best of Tony's #Bourdainisms : Anthony Bourdain : Travel Channel

'On his reputation

On the parts that body armor doesn't cover: "I don't know what your priorities are but my heart's like, number 2." -Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"This is not a toy. It looks like an over-sized slot car, I grant you. But this shit moves, and the plastic jug of fuel between your legs adds a certain frisson." -Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

On having a number written on his hand before bungee jumping: "For ID purposes later at the coroner's office." - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

On driving a Smart Car with pink daisy trim: "All I need now is a toy poodle in the driver's seat with a big, fluffy bow." - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"Aren't you supposed to lie to your wife about fun stuff you're doing? Instead I'm going to Chernobyl." - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"In the dry heat, nothing rots. It's preserved in a slightly parched form forever, like George Hamilton, or Keith Richards." -Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"I hope I'm not giving a bad impression of Americans. I've now had a mojito, a pretty healthy serving of rum and my second mojito's coming, all in about ten minutes." - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

On what we've all got coming to us: "I happen to believe that everybody in this world, at one point in their life, needs an ass kicking." - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"I'm f#$% naked here. This isn't appropriate. Don't you see it written in crayon with the backwards 'R,' 'No Girls Allowed'?" - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

When asked how it feels to be beaten by a woman: "Have you met my wife?" - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"I hope I'm not giving a bad impression of Americans. I've now had a mojito, a pretty healthy serving of rum and my second mojito's coming, all in about ten minutes." - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

On what we've all got coming to us: "I happen to believe that everybody in this world, at one point in their life, needs an ass kicking." - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"I'm f#$% naked here. This isn't appropriate. Don't you see it written in crayon with the backwards 'R,' 'No Girls Allowed'?" - Tony Bourdain What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

After a martini, a Negroni, a sidecar, and a Manhattan, I begin to realize the gravity of the situation.

Tony samples a local stew in Brazil.

Tony on spicy food: "I like nuclear hot. Burns going in, burns going out kind of thing." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

Tony on what the crew does if they get there a day before him: "A lot of talking to Mister Fisty, I'm guessing. If something's missing from my mini-bar, I'm not paying. If they're charging porn to my room, this will not pass." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"Personally, I'd be perfectly happy to just call it a day and f@#& off to the nearest hammock and a frosty boat drink with an umbrella in it." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"These animals don't have a lot of fat on them, because they're running from people all the time. You didn't run fast enough my friend." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"What are you doing, Timmy? Going skiing at the mall, Mom!" What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"Number one mistake made by dads across America, the single most important thing to learn here is: leave the steak the f@#& alone." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"If I was from out-of-town, and we didn't know this place, and we were snowmobiling through, I'd think we'd stumbled on a meth lab." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"Look at 'em, they're falling on those leftovers like seagulls on a corpse." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"The knives are about as sharp as a Leno monologue, which is to say that none of the things could cut butter." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.

"If there's another American there, leave. Don't even think about visiting a Starbucks or Hard Rock Café in Singapore either." What's your favorite Bourdainism? Tell us on Twitter by using the hashtag #Bourdainisms.