18 Human Heads Found in Package

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O’Hare Airport, Chicago

Sometimes it’s difficult to pinpoint the most alarming aspect of a story.

The fact that customs agents found a box containing 18 disembodied noggins certainly gives one pause, but the reaction of airport officials may make your own fully-connected head spin.

It seems that there’s nothing illegal, or even unusual, about this sort of thing.

Department of Homeland Security spokesman Brian Bell puts chills down our spine as he attempts to reassure us:

“Everybody here is ‘Oh my gosh, you got a box of heads’ and everybody thinks that it’s unheard of. It is a potentially legitimate medical shipment. We’ve seen it at various ports in the nation.”

A crematory has claimed the heads. Are we the only ones who missed the “Detach Before Burning” label on the human cranium?

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