'Top Secret Beaches' Reveals the Heartbreak of Life at the Shore

Who needs all that sun and surf, anyway?
Related To:

Jack Campbell near Sand Beach in Rangeley, Maine as seen on Travel Channel's Top Secert Beaches episode TTSB101H

Photo by: Citizen Pictures

Citizen Pictures

Top Secret Beaches might showcase some of the world’s most spectacular coastlines, but it can’t hide their drawbacks. Drawbacks, you say? Oh, yes. These include...

Playa Arcos in Ballena Marine National Park, Costa Rica as seen on Travel Channel's Top Secret Beaches episode TTSB101H.

Photo by: Citizen Pictures

Citizen Pictures

 Sand, sand and more sand

Sand is Mother Nature’s version of loose glitter: Once it’s part of your life, there’s no getting rid of it. Most of the thousand-watt smiles you see in beach photography are actually grimaces. That stuff finds every nook and cranny.

Christina Cindrich admiring sunset on Secret Cove in Humbolt County, California as seen on Travel Channel's Top Secret Beaches episode TTSB102H.

Photo by: Citizen Pictures

Citizen Pictures

 You can’t make small talk about the weather

When it’s consistently—even monotonously—spectacular outside, what are you supposed to chat about in elevators? Yeah yeah, there aren’t many elevators at the beach. Not the point.

124593265

124593265

Girls feet in the sand

Photo by: laskvv

laskvv

 The hassle of pedicure maintenance

Tucking your neglected toes away isn’t an option at the beach, where being presentable in bare feet is a must. Resign yourself to spending time (and money, most likely) on yours.

118194825

118194825

Young woman with sunburn at beach, looking toward horizon

Photo by: jcarillet

jcarillet

 Keeping track of tan lines

Your cousin isn’t going to be interested in how you wanted to wear a different bathing suit every day of your vacation when you turn up for her wedding in a strapless bridesmaid’s dress that makes you look like an elementary-school art project, now is she?

Christina Cindrich posing on Secret Cove in Humbolt County, California as seen on Travel Channel's Top Secret Beaches episode TTSB102H.

Photo by: Citizen Pictures

Citizen Pictures

 Time alone with your thoughts

“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone,” Orson Welles wrote. “Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” When you’re isolated on a top secret beach, the howling void of that solitude is almost impossible to ignore. Visit one at your peril.

Misery loves company: Tune in for Top Secret Beaches: Brazil’s Praia do Sancho this Sunday, Jan. 22, at 10|9c.

Keep Reading

Next Up

17 Beach Essentials

New products in beachy colors to stock your bag.

Visit Spain's Sexiest Costa del Sol Beaches

Make a splash on these tantalizing shores.

5 Best Beaches in and Around New York City

Grab your bathing suits! It's swimming time.

3 Better Ways to Use Your Beach Vacation Finds

Ditch the dreaded basket of shells. 

How to Experience Miami Beach Like a Local

North Beach is a mellow alternative to SoBe.

Top International Wine Picks

Sky Restaurant sommelier Charles Ford recommends his favorite global sips.

Don Wildman Shares His Top 5 Favorite National Parks

Five national parks. Five amazing adventures.

The Newest Reasons to Visit Miami Beach

Learn about Miami Beach's newest hotels, restaurants and more.